By Globe Staff
There are often warning signs of abuse in an intimate partner or family relationship that can foreshadow more extreme brutality to come, advocates for survivors of domestic violence said in the wake of a weekend double homicide and suicide in Maine, allegedly at the hands of the father and husband of the two victims.
The killings in Bath, Maine, which tragically came during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, were discovered about 7 a.m. Sunday, when 58-year-old Lisa Bailey and 32-year-old Jennifer Bailey were found fatally shot at their Crawford Drive home. Michael Bailey, 66, was found later inside the home, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, Maine State Police said.
Bath Police Chief Andrew M. Booth told the Globe his officers “had recent past interactions at that residence” but he was not aware of protective orders against any members of the family. Bath police logs show officers were called to the home Sept. 24 for an alleged assault with a knife.
Advocates for abuse survivors say such tragedies represent the most extreme form of family violence. Abuse typically begins in small, subtle ways and escalates over time, according to Jane Doe Inc., the Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence.
Public attention again turned to the issue of domestic violence Monday as Patriots safety Jabrill A. Peppers was arraigned on allegations that he choked his “on and off” girlfriend of three years and pushed her head against a wall, according to court records. Peppers pleaded not guilty to charges including strangulation, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, and assault and battery on a family or household member.
Those experiencing violence from a partner or family member will often withdraw from others or be forced into isolation by their abuser because it makes them easier to dominate, Liu said, adding that domestic violence is part of “a pattern of power and control over another person.”
Loved ones may also notice a victim of abuse has lost interest in activities they previously enjoyed, or that they can’t make plans without checking with their partner, according to Liu. They said an observer might “notice a friend constantly being monitored and constantly being checked in on, and this sense of fear, or owing to that partner.”
Greta Hagen, director of development and external relations for Jane Doe Inc., said since abusive relationships are cyclical, they can at times seem loving and happy.
“There are points in that cycle that look really magical . . . to an outsider,” she said. And an abuser, especially at the beginning of a relationship, may engage in “love bombing” — ostentatious displays of affection used to emotionally manipulate a partner or potential partner.
“It’s about watching that and listening to your friend or your your loved one, because survivors are really the experts in in their own safety,” Hagen said. “Folks will tell you if if you’re ready to listen and if they’re ready to share.”
She said anyone in Massachusetts who may be experiencing abuse or who wants to support a loved one in an abusive relationship can call the 24-hour statewide confidential domestic violence hotline at 1-877-785-2020 or access resources at www.janedoe.org/find_help/.
Websdale, a professor at Arizona State University who also heads its Family Violence Center, said 95 percent of people who kill their partners and families are male, but otherwise they may have little in common. They exist on a spectrum that ranges from “under-controlled, angry, often violent and abusive men” who one group of researchers likened to “pit bulls” to what Websdale calls “civil, reputable offenders,” who may have no known history of violence and reputations as upstanding citizens.
“These offenses are impossible to predict — impossible,” he said. “Domestic homicide in general, intimate partner homicide in general, is such a rare offense, it too is impossible to predict.”
Because familicide is so rare, he said, there isn’t enough data to say whether it is increasing or decreasing. But the deaths of the Baileys in Maine are the latest in a series of tragic family killings across New England.
On Oct. 4, a man was arrested for allegedly killing his father and injuring his mother in Enosburgh, Vt. Jordan Lawyer, 29, was charged with second-degree murder and first-degree aggravated domestic assault, according to State Police, who alleged he attacked Todd Lawyer, 54, and Robin Lawyer, 58, with a baseball bat at the home the three shared.
Last month, also in Vermont, a 23-year-old New York man with a history of mental health issues was arrested following the shooting deaths of his father, stepmother, and stepbrother at their farmhouse in Pawlet, Vt., authorities said. Brian Crossman Jr. was charged with aggravated murder in the killings of Brian Crossman Sr., 46; Erica Crossman, 41; and her 13-year-old son, Colin Taft.
In August, a 37-year-old Troy, N.H., man allegedly killed his wife and 8-year-old son before he was fatally shot by police on a bridge connecting that state to Maine, authorities said.
John R. Ellement of the Globe staff contributed to this report, and material from previous Globe coverage was used.